Tired of the Same Old Routine

Been with my partner for five years now. We started out fiery and intense but lately it's just routine. I feel stuck in this cycle where we follow the same moves every time, like robots having sex instead of real people. Last night, I asked him to try something new, something wild and unexpected. But he said no, because 'we agreed on limits,' whatever that means. So here I am, pouring drinks for strangers who probably have no idea what it's like to lose passion in a long-term relationship. His body feels cold against mine now; there’s no warmth left. Last night, while he was asleep, I masturbated furiously just thinking about him, the way his cock used to feel before we got comfortable with each other, before everything became safe and predictable. I imagined someone else taking me roughly, making me scream and come hard without a care for limits or comfort. I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to break our routine, even just once. To give in to the thrill of something spontaneous and raw, knowing that could never happen with him. Maybe I’m being selfish, but right now, all I want is to feel alive again.