In My Study Last Night

I went home from my university office late last night and decided to spend some time alone in my study. As I sat at my desk, contemplating the day's lectures and student interactions, something stirred within me, a deep yearning for physical release that my marriage no longer satisfies as it once did. So, with deliberate motions, I pulled out a sleek black box from under my bookshelf, opened it to find my favorite vibrators, and began exploring each one in turn. The first toy I chose was long and thick, sending shivers up my spine when it entered me at full length. Its smooth surface glided against every sensitive spot inside me as I pressed buttons on its remote, escalating the intensity with each flick of my wrist. After a few minutes, I moved onto another, smaller but more intense in its pulsating rhythm. It hit all the right spots and kept me teetering on the edge until I finally climaxed in waves of pleasure that left me panting for breath. This isn't something I do often, it felt both exhilarating and guilt-ridden to experience such intensity alone, especially when my marriage feels so distant. Is this behavior normal? How can I reconcile my desire with my commitment?