heartbreak and new found desire

Anonymous Feverish Siren #193 · General

so i just got out of a relationship with my ex for 2 years. we were together since we both started college and honestly, it felt like forever. but recently things went south and she decided to break up with me. the truth is, i kinda enjoyed being single again though. freedom and all that. so one night after i got off work at starbucks (been there for about a year now), im at home feeling really lonely and bored. i end up watching some adult stuff online just because, you know? it was like, yeah this is what i want right now. but then something else happens that makes me realize how much i want someone to share this with. i start thinking about my ex but also about other people, guys and girls even. its weird cuz i always thought of myself as straight but maybe im not so sure anymore. so the next day at work, there’s this new girl who just started working there a week ago. she’s in her twenties, real cute, with dark hair down to her shoulders. we start talking and shes really friendly, asks me about my tattoo (which is an anchor on my forearm). i tell her its all about finding stability after everything that happens, but also being able to move forward without looking back too much. she seems intrigued. after a couple of days, we start hanging out more outside work and things get really personal real quick. one day at lunch shes telling me how she’s been single forever and she’s kinda bored with it all. her words exactly. “i wanna try stuff i never thought possible.” so there i am listening to this beautiful girl talk about her desires while feeling a mix of everything inside, guilt and excitement mostly. we end up making out in the back room of starbucks where no one can see us after work one day. it was intense but also tender. we didn’t go further than that because she said she needs time to think things through properly but honestly i’m really into her now and its confusing me so much. is this normal? or am i being a jerk by pursuing someone else like this soon after my breakup?