A Lie That Weighed Me Down

Since my recent divorce, I've struggled with finding myself again. It's hard to adjust from being married for ten years to suddenly being alone at twenty-eight. My ex and I had a joint checking account that we used for everything, but when he closed it without telling me, leaving only his name on our bills and accounts, it felt like another betrayal. To cover my tracks while I figured out how to get everything back in my name, I started lying about my financial status. To my friends, I pretended everything was fine, that we were just taking a break or having some space issues. When asked if there's any chance of getting back together, I always said 'maybe,' even though deep down I knew it wasn't true. This lie has been weighing heavily on me. It feels like a betrayal to everyone in my life who cares about me and trusts me with their friendship and support. Every time someone asks how things are going or when I'm going to move out, the guilt of lying eats away at me more than it ever helped ease the situation.