Confession from a Military Wife in the Shadows

I’m writing this as a wife of a soldier currently stationed overseas. Our relationship has been stable and loving for over five years now, but there’s something dark brewing beneath the surface that I can’t seem to shake off. It started when we had our anniversary last month, and he surprised me with a trip back home early from his deployment. We celebrated at this local bar where I met someone, a man who seemed to understand my hidden desires better than anyone else has in years. Our conversation led to shared interests in kinks and fetishes, and before long, we found ourselves alone in the alley behind that place. There was an electric tension between us, a spark of attraction that went beyond physical chemistry. He had this look in his eyes, like he knew all my secrets even though we’d never spoken before tonight. He suggested going somewhere private for a night out on the town. I hesitated but also felt drawn to the idea. What started as casual flirting escalated into something more intense when we arrived at our destination. We ended up in his apartment, and that’s when it got serious. Our bodies moved together with an intensity that shocked even me, we were completely uninhibited, exploring each other with a hunger I hadn’t felt in so long. His hands roamed freely over my body, cupping my breasts, tracing the curve of my hips down to where he wanted me most. Every touch was deliberate and charged with desire. He entered me slowly at first, savoring every inch until he found a rhythm that had us both gasping for air. We continued throughout the night, each climax leading into another as if we were trying to make up for lost time. When it was over, there was an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, yet also guilt and shame knowing what I’d done behind my husband’s back. My heart is torn between loyalty and this newfound liberation. Now that he's gone again on deployment, the urge has returned stronger than ever. Am I being a bad wife? Is it normal for couples to explore other people when they're apart due to work or military commitments? How do you reconcile these desires without breaking trust?