After The Divorce

I cheated on my wife after we separated but before the divorce was finalized. We were still living together and she trusted me completely. One night, I met this stranger online who knew about my marriage problems. She suggested CNC roleplay, where she pretended to be my new girlfriend while my ex-wife slept in another room. It was intense, her hands exploring every inch of my body, fingers slipping into tight spots that had been untouched for months. She whispered filthy things as her lips wrapped around me, making my knees buckle. Afterwards, I felt both guilty and strangely relieved. Is this normal? Am I a monster? What do you all think?