Wishing She'd Let Me Be Myself...

I've been with my partner for over three years now. We're in a stable relationship and everything feels good on the surface, but there's this one thing that makes me feel so... trapped inside. I love bondage play, not just being tied up, but taking control too. The idea of her completely trusting me to keep her safe while she lets go... it turns me on like nothing else. But every time we talk about it, the look in her eyes changes, and all I see is fear. It's frustrating because I've never pushed anything on her; whatever she wants, I'll respect. Yet this craving inside me won't fade away. Last night, while we were cuddled up watching a movie, my hand... well, it just started to move in ways that felt so right for me but wrong according to what we agreed on. It made me question everything. Am I being too selfish? Does she ever look at me and see someone who's always trying to push her limits instead of supporting her boundaries? The more I think about it, the sadder I feel... because this isn't just a fantasy anymore, it's something that haunts my days and dreams. It makes me wonder if there are others out there with similar struggles, wondering if they're alone or if this is just part of being human when it comes to sexuality. So here's my question: How do you deal with the conflict between your deepest desires and your partner's comfort level? Have you ever felt trapped in a sexual identity that doesn't align with what your partner can offer? Please share, I need to know I'm not alone.