Caught Myself Fantasizing About Him in Uniform

My name is Sarah and I’ve been married to Mike for six years. We met at a military base and we’re still stationed here. Our relationship has always been solid, but lately something’s shifted. It’s not that he’s doing anything wrong, no cheating or betrayals here, but my mind keeps wandering off when he’s in uniform. I’ve fantasized about him since day one, of course. But it was different then, and I knew what it meant to be a military spouse. I thought we were okay with the idea of it all, that our love story could withstand any challenge the base might bring. And yet, here I am, lying awake at night when he’s away on deployment, my fingers ghosting over his picture in the frame by my bedside. It started off harmless enough, I’d catch myself staring at him during a formal event or watching videos from training exercises online. It was just him being who he is and doing what he does. But then one day I found an old photo of him in full dress uniform, his eyes sharp and determined, his presence commanding even in stillness. And suddenly the fantasy wasn’t so harmless anymore. I’ve been playing out these scenarios in my head for weeks now, kissing him goodnight after a long shift, wrapping myself around him on our couch while the rest of the world stands down. The fantasy plays out with such vivid detail that I can feel it as much as dream it: his hands running over me, exploring every inch of skin beneath his fingers; my body arching up to meet each touch. This morning was a turning point. Mike had come home early from a routine mission for an emergency briefing but left again soon after. As he prepared to leave in full uniform, standing tall and proud at the front door, I couldn’t help myself, I slipped behind him and pressed my lips against his neck, whispering his name into his skin. He turned around quickly, catching me off guard. His eyes softened as he saw the desire flickering there. 'Sarah,' he said quietly but sternly, ‘we need to talk about this.’ That’s where I am now, with a man who understands my infidelity isn’t about him or someone else but just an overwhelming feeling towards his presence and role. Am I wrong for letting myself crave these moments with him? Should we explore them together in the future, even though it feels like such a breach of boundaries?