A Secret from Law School

I met this guy at law school, Alex, and we started seeing each other. We're both in an open relationship, which was a big deal for me because I never thought I'd do that kind of thing. But it's been... complicated. The emotional part is intense, but the physical side feels like a real challenge sometimes. It's not about him or anyone else being uninterested; it's just hard to be fully present when you're thinking about what your other partner might want or need. I told myself this would make me feel more fulfilled, less trapped by traditional monogamy. Instead, I feel torn in two different directions all the time. It doesn't help that we spend most of our time studying together now too, trying to figure out how law and relationships mix when you're already spread thin. Sometimes it's fun and exciting, but other times it just feels draining, like every decision is a negotiation. I don't know what the future holds for us, but right now, I'm just hanging on tight.