The Experiment I Conducted On Myself

So, I've been a doctor for over a decade now, but there are still some things that really baffle me. Not just in the medical sense, though those mysteries are numerous, but also when it comes to my own psychology and desires. A few weeks ago, I found myself engaging in something rather out of character. My partner doesn't share this particular kink, so we agreed on a temporary CNC scenario where I would take on the role of someone much more submissive than I usually am. It was like stepping into an entirely different mindset for a while. During our session, which lasted about two hours, I noticed how my body responded in ways that surprised even me. Physiologically, there’s plenty to analyze here, hormonal shifts, adrenaline release, but the psychological aspect is what really intrigues me. Why would someone who prides themselves on autonomy and control suddenly find enjoyment in relinquishing both? It's a fascinating case study, but one I’m not quite sure how to approach objectively. Maybe it’s just about exploring new facets of my personality, or perhaps there’s some unresolved trauma from my past influencing these desires. Whatever the reason, I feel like this needs further investigation, not necessarily with my partner, but perhaps through therapy or even journaling. After all, understanding oneself is as crucial to good health as understanding one's body.