Just Got Out Of A Long-Term Relationship

I just got out of a long-term relationship and it's been a whirlwind of emotions. We were together for four years, and I never imagined things would end like this. It was a surprise to both of us when we realized that the spark had dimmed, and we decided to go our separate ways after trying everything to make it work again. Anyway, what's on my mind today is how much I enjoyed exploring different kinks with him before things went south. We never hid anything from each other and always made sure everything was consensual and fun for both of us. One night, we tried this really interesting roleplay where I played a commanding officer at a military base, and he had to report to me as the soldier under my command. It felt so empowering to be in charge and make decisions about what happened next. We never acted like it was real; it was just another way to spice things up between us. I wonder if I'll ever find someone who's willing to explore those kinds of roles with me again. Maybe I should start trying new things on my own while I'm single and figure out what works for me without the pressure of pleasing anyone else first. But seriously, thinking about that night reminds me how much fun we had together before everything changed. Maybe it's time to let go of those memories too.