Caught in My Own Web of Desire

I've been engaged to Sarah for two years now. We live together and plan to get married next summer. But recently I've found myself struggling with a dark secret, one that's haunted me for weeks, even as I sit here with my fiancée beside me. It started when I was out of town on business at a hotel bar. I don't know how or why it happened, but somehow the bartender, let's call her Jane, an attractive woman in her early thirties, began flirting with me in earnest. We exchanged numbers that night and kept things casual over text for weeks afterward. One day, out of nowhere, we arranged to meet up at a different hotel room under the guise of professional meetings, I never actually had any real appointments there, just a cover story so she wouldn't feel bad about what we knew was coming. We spent hours talking, drinking, and cuddling in her bed until I couldn't take it anymore. We ended up having passionate sex that night, skin-on-skin, the sheets crinkled beneath us as we moved together. Jane's moans filled the air, my thrusts relentless and raw between her thighs. It was wild, untamed, a stark contrast to my controlled life at home with Sarah. Afterward, I left feeling guilty but oddly free. But then came the lies, pretending nothing had happened on that trip, covering up texts when Sarah would ask about them. It's like I've built this whole wall around myself and now there's no escape from it. I know what you're thinking: how could someone cheat on their fiancée? The truth is, I don't even really understand it myself yet. Maybe someday things will change, maybe I'll be able to come clean with Sarah before we make any more commitments, but right now all I can do is hope that this affair remains just a dark moment in time and not the start of something worse.