The Distance in Our Intimacy

I’ve been with my partner for seven years now. We met when we were both fresh out of college and had big dreams ahead of us. Over the years, our relationship has gone through many ups and downs, but it’s always felt like we could weather any storm together. Recently though, something feels off. It started small, long work hours on his part, my own growing sense of detachment from him as I navigated personal changes and ambitions. We talk about these things openly enough, acknowledging the stressors that come with adult life. But it’s in the bedroom where the disconnect has become most apparent. Lately, when we’re intimate, there’s a coldness there. It’s not outright rejection or refusal; just this sense of obligation and routine, as if we’ve both grown tired of the dance and simply accept it as part of our nightly ritual. I feel like I’m supposed to know what he wants without having to ask, an unspoken understanding that has always been the cornerstone of our intimacy. But now it feels hollow. Last night was particularly stark. He seemed eager initially, but once inside me, there was no spark, no sense of real desire. It left me feeling used and detached. Afterwards, we didn’t even speak, just slipped into sleep as if nothing happened. I lay awake for hours afterwards, heart heavy with a question that looms over us: is this it? Can we reclaim the passion that once was, or are we resigned to something less? I’ve been thinking about seeking advice elsewhere, but I know deep down that our relationship will only get better if we work through these issues as partners. Tonight though, all I can do is feel lost and alone in a place where there should be no distance.