Confessing My Messy Secret

So I just got divorced and yeah, it's been hard. But there’s something else I need to talk about too, like, really awkward stuff that feels wrong but also kinda... right? Ugh, this is so embarrassing to even type out. So my ex-wife and I were both pretty experimental in the bedroom before we split up. And after a while of trying different things together, I found myself wanting something she just wasn't into anymore. You know, stuff that’s not exactly vanilla, but still consensual, right? Like roleplaying being a younger guy or some other adult fantasy where you get to be this... this kid in a way, but obviously only with adults involved and all the safety words and such. Anyway, after we split, I kind of went down that path by myself. And uh, let's just say there are times when it’s not like regular sex anymore, more like exploring my own headspace, if that makes sense? Like being alone in a room, closing my eyes, and pretending to be... younger. Not even really about touching myself either, but the thought of how I feel in these scenarios. It's hard because while it’s all consensual and stuff, there are parts of me that still feel like I’m crossing some kind of line. I don't know if anyone else out here does this too, or feels weirdly good/bad about it. But writing this helps me realize maybe talking about it more openly isn’t such a bad idea? Am I just being overly self-conscious, or is there something wrong with getting off on these kinds of thoughts that aren't hurting anyone but are still so far from regular sex stuff? Ugh, hope no one sees the shame in this. Gotta keep moving forward somehow.