Post-Breakup Kink Experiment Gone Wrong?

So, I recently got out of a long-term relationship and am trying to figure out who I am now as a person. During the breakup, my ex (let's call them X) and I had this whole thing about experimenting with different kinks and roles in bed. It was pretty wild, and we both enjoyed it. But, here’s where things got a bit confusing for me. One day, while we were still together but everything felt really intense and emotional, we tried out some CNC stuff, non-consent roleplay, and I have to say, it wasn’t half bad from an imaginative standpoint. It definitely brought a level of intensity that I haven't found in other scenarios before. However, X seemed a bit more into the physical aspect of it than me. But hey, everyone has their own tastes, right? Now, since splitting up, I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly happened and if this whole kink thing is something that’s still for me now as an independent person or not. Am I just trying too hard to relive the intensity of our past relationship in a new context? Or am I maybe discovering a part of myself that actually enjoys these kinds of roleplays more than I initially thought? I’ve talked with friends who have done this before, and they all say it’s normal to feel confused when stepping away from such an intense dynamic. But, what about the kink aspect? Is there something wrong with me for still feeling drawn towards that even though we’re no longer together? To add a bit more context: X is in their mid-30s and has always been very supportive of my desire to explore different facets of sexuality, even encouraging it at times. I’m worried I might be holding on too tightly to the idea of these intense moments as something that defined our relationship and now I can’t let go. So, what do you think? Am I just overthinking this whole thing, or should I embrace these feelings but also look out for my own boundaries and needs moving forward?