just did something confusing

so i was thinking about this for weeks but then decided to just go for it because why not right. it's kinda hard to explain but it felt like the right thing at the time and still does. had this wild night out with lily, met some new people. one of them was nathan and from the start there was something between us that wasn't there before. we ended up back at his place and just let things happen, no strings attached kind of deal. i mean it's not like my relationship with john is any less complicated but this felt different, more freeing maybe? we talked about the rules beforehand though so everything was clear from the start. one thing led to another real quick and before long we were both totally naked on his bed, exploring each other for the first time. it was intense, way beyond just physical attraction. fingers in every crevice, tongues tasting every inch of skin. lips on clit and ass, tongue fucking while he fucks me from behind, cock sliding in deep. i felt so open with him, vulnerable but also powerful at the same time. when we finally came, together, it was this wild shared moment that made everything feel real yet surreal. weirdly enough, it didn't shake my relationship with john or anything like that. just left me feeling conflicted and curious about all this newness in my life. not sure what to make of it all honestly.