My First Solo After A Breakup Was Ridiculous

So here I am, a personal trainer and just out of my last serious relationship. You know that period after the breakup when you're not really ready to start dating again but your hormones are still in full swing? Yeah, me too. It felt like this storm was brewing inside me for weeks, all pent-up energy from workouts and no release valve on the emotional side. I mean, sure, I'd been getting my kicks here and there with quickies over FaceTime or random encounters at clubs, but nothing compares to really letting loose alone in your own space. Anyway, last night I finally broke down and decided to get some much-needed relief. It was wild, I had all these fantasies about a certain someone who’s still fresh in my mind (but no longer available), and boy did I indulge them with gusto. Started off slow, just touching myself softly like we were on a date, trying to recreate those moments. But then, oh man, something snapped and it went full throttle, fingers inside me instantly, mimicking rough passion from the past without regret or guilt. I was so lost in these memories that I couldn’t stop myself from calling out his name while moving against my hand at a punishing pace. It’s funny how much a few weeks of absence can heighten everything; every moan and thrust felt ten times better than anything recent with other partners. Needless to say, it ended up being a total mess, sheets were soaked, mattress had plenty of evidence left behind. Now I'm not ashamed or embarrassed (it’s my body, after all), but there's something about getting back in touch with myself and the intensity of those past feelings that feels incredibly liberating. Maybe this is just another phase, maybe it'll last a while, either way, it felt damn good to let go for once.