A Bit Too Much For My Partner To Handle

I'm a 30-something nurse and my partner is pretty vanilla. It's been tough to navigate our relationship because I've got these, uh, deeper fantasies that she just isn't into. We tried talking about it for a while but we ended up arguing more than anything else. One night, after working late at the hospital where I get to see all sorts of things, I couldn't resist anymore. So I brought out this kinky outfit and everything - not something you'd wear to work, mind you, just stuff from home that's fun for me. She didn't like it one bit. Said it made her uncomfortable. We don't talk about those kinds of things much anymore. It was a long time coming though. I knew this day would come where we'd reach our breaking point on the subject. But here’s what bothers me: am I the asshole for having these thoughts and feelings? They’re mine, no one else's fault - or are they? We're trying to work it out but man...it feels like a lot right now.