A Little Lie

I'm really ashamed to admit this, but a few weeks ago I lied about going to the library when I was actually hanging out with my ex. We've been over for months now and it's totally not healthy or anything, but I still care for her deeply. My current girlfriend knows we're on bad terms, so she wouldn't understand why I wanted to talk to her again. It felt wrong even as I said it, like I was betraying my partner without ever seeing her face-to-face. I wish I could go back and be honest about what happened.