Caught in the Moment

I met my wife when we were both around 21, and it was a whirlwind romance. We fell deeply in love over our shared interests and similar life goals. After dating for just six months, we got married and moved into a small apartment together. It wasn't exactly what I had imagined as the perfect start to married life, no dream wedding, no big honeymoon, but there were plans for all of that later on when things felt more stable financially. Three years in, we're still deeply in love and committed to each other, but there's this nagging tension between us. It started about a year ago when I began feeling curious about something very specific: roleplaying a scenario where she would be my submissive in the bedroom. Initially, it was just fantasies that I kept to myself, nothing I ever shared with her or acted on. But one night, after a particularly long day at work and an equally stressful argument over household finances (which we seem to have almost every week these days), I came home exhausted and found myself drunk off my feet in no time. In that drunken haze, without thinking it through clearly or considering the consequences, I broached this topic with her. I'll never forget the look of shock on her face when I blurted out something about wanting to explore a BDSM dynamic. She stopped mid-sentence and stared at me like she didn't recognize the man sitting across from her. The atmosphere turned icy as she asked, 'What are you talking about?' and proceeded to remind me that we're in this for the long run. That was weeks ago, but it still feels like yesterday. We've barely mentioned it since then, though the tension between us is palpable. She hasn't outright refused me or said no to exploring anything BDSM-related, she just... stopped talking about it altogether. And I haven't brought it up again either, too afraid of ruining what we do have left. I feel like a complete moron for even suggesting such a thing in the first place and now I'm stuck with this constant worry gnawing at me: am I the asshole here? Or is my curiosity just something normal couples can talk about openly if they're both willing to explore it?