My Secret Affair at Work Ended But Not My Lust for Him

I finally ended things with Sarah last week. We were together for three years, and I just felt like it was time to move on. I don't know if you've ever been there, you still love someone but your feelings have changed from romantic to platonic. So now that we're not a couple anymore, I can talk about what really happened at work. I started seeing Dr. Lee, the chief of surgery, almost immediately after breaking up with Sarah. He's a few years older than me, in his early 40s, dark hair and sharp eyes, very commanding presence. It was like he saw right through to my soul, and I couldn't resist it. We didn't hide anything from each other. Our first time together happened during a late shift when the hospital was mostly empty. We went into one of the unused operating rooms and locked the door behind us. The sterile smell of antiseptic mixed with the scent of arousal as we undressed each other. I remember his hands running over my chest, finding every sensitive spot on me, I was already hard when he touched me but it didn't stop there. He leaned in for a kiss, and that was it. We both knew what was going to happen next. He pushed me down onto one of the stainless steel tables, his cock pressing against my entrance. He stretched me with his fingers, then lined himself up and thrust into me without waiting. It hurt at first but soon it just felt so good, I could feel every inch of him filling me as he moved inside me. We kept going until we both couldn't anymore, lying there in the aftermath, breathless and covered in sweat. The intensity was incredible, it was a moment that transcended everything else. He told me later he’d been thinking about me since my first day here. It's been over now for weeks since Sarah moved out and I'm trying to stay focused on work. But when I see Dr. Lee around, all those feelings come rushing back, the lustful thoughts of him, the way his body makes mine feel alive with need. It’s hard knowing it was real but that it can’t be again. I’m not sure what this means for me going forward. Parting from Sarah made things clearer in some ways, and muddier in others. For now, I'll keep my distance from Dr. Lee professionally, but I’ll never forget the night we shared.