Post-Divorce Experiment

Since my divorce, I've been struggling to reconnect with my sexuality. Last week, I decided to try an online BDSM forum for the first time and arranged a casual meeting with someone who seemed compatible. We met at a neutral location and engaged in consensual roleplay that included some light bondage and verbal play. It was surprisingly liberating but also unsettling, I felt like an observer rather than a participant. Now, I'm questioning if it's healthy to seek this kind of connection as I try to redefine myself post-marriage.