Confession of a Bride-to-Be

I’m engaged to someone I care deeply about. We have a beautiful future planned together. Yet tonight, as we lay in bed cuddled close but unaccompanied by the usual intimacy that’s defined our relationship so far, something inside me snapped. He wants kids, and he's supportive of my journey with gender affirmation. But what if I can’t give him the full experience? What if deep down, I’m not ready for sex as a woman yet, even with someone who loves me unconditionally? I’ve felt this way before; I push him away during moments that make me feel vulnerable. My partner deserves so much more than my ambivalence. How do I face tomorrow without letting tonight’s secret eat at me?