with my student

i taught this girl when she was in college and we had a really interesting dynamic from the start. i could see her getting all worked up about certain topics during lectures, like if it involved sex or power dynamics. of course, everything was professional back then but i think there was always something there between us. we would meet after class sometimes for extra tutoring sessions and i could tell she was attracted to me too, even though we never acted on it then. a few years go by and one day, this girl reaches out to me through email. turns out she's back in town and wanted to reconnect as friends. we grab coffee a couple times and catch up but eventually the attraction from before resurfaces. i know it's wrong, since we have such a power imbalance now that i'm her professor and all, but something about how young she looks even though shes 21+ and me being this mature woman in my forties just makes it irresistible. so one day at the coffee shop, things get heated. i kiss her, tell her we need to keep it secret because of our situation. she goes along with it but says its a big risk and that were playing with fire. still we cant resist each other and end up hooking up again and again over weeks. i feel like such the bad professor woman but can't help myself when shes around, so eager and trusting even though i know im much older than her. in bed it feels taboo and dangerous which makes it more exciting to both of us. i dont tell my husband anything of course, just keep sneaking off with this student. every time we hook up its like breaking a rule, which is part of what turns me on so much. i know deep down its wrong but also right in some sick way and i cant stop it even if i wanted to.