was i the asshole?

so there's this chick who's been my kinda side girl for like a year now. we're cool, chill vibes, mostly hanging out and being there for each other but nothing real. and yeah it's complicated but she knows the deal. anyway, recently we started to talk more about kinks and stuff which is fun and i've kind of been wanting to explore some fantasies with her. nothing hardcore or anything, just like a little roleplay maybe? but then one day i start talking and next thing you know i'm telling her all these fantasies that are kinda dirty, really just pushing the limits of what we'd normally do. she's not into that and shuts me down pretty quick. now here's the thing - did i overstep big time or was it bc i brought something new to our dynamic? shoulda just kept things chill? but then there's this part of me that thinks maybe if i pushed, we could've had some fun. confused af tbh.