...I'm Not So Fine Alone...

Sometimes... I feel like everyone around me sees this big picture of contentment. Single, independent... yeah, sure. But lately... it's felt so lonely. At work... with my patients... they're all so brave or loved or desperate for connection... and I just want to crawl into someone's lap at night and be held... and tonight... after a particularly tough shift... I was on the verge of messaging an ex just to have human contact. But instead... I called it quits early, went home, sat in my bathtub... with a bottle of wine... and touched myself... imagining him there... touching me back. It's pathetic, right? Yet... sometimes... I need that reminder more than anything.