I Broke a Promise to Myself About Gender Play

It's been two years since I came out as trans and started transitioning. One of the things that helped me get comfortable with my identity was setting boundaries around gender play in my relationship, we decided on a strict no-go list for activities related to my past female identity, partly for emotional protection and partly just because it wasn't appealing anymore. We stuck to this pact like glue. But last weekend, something changed. A new fantasy crept up from the back of my mind; I found myself thinking more and more about stepping back into that role, even if just as a fleeting scene in our kink playroom. It's so unlike me, the idea gives me an anxious thrill but also makes my chest ache with sadness. And then one night, after too many drinks, I brought it up to Alex (my partner). Before we knew it, we were exploring some of those old fantasies together. I'm torn and terrified that this could be a step backward in my transition. What if I've already hurt myself by crossing these lines? Is it normal for someone to experience such a shift suddenly like this, or am I losing control? Should we just drop the whole thing entirely now, or talk more about why it's so tempting to revisit things from before transitioning? Would love any insights or thoughts others might have on keeping boundaries while also being honest with yourself.