another lie

so i recently got divorced and i was pretty okay with it for the most part. we both knew it wasn't working out and honestly things had been bad for a long time before that. but there's this one thing i did when all of this started happening, this little fib that keeps bugging me. my ex has some friends who are still in touch on occasion and sometimes they'd invite us to things. after we separated though, he kept going without me because i was just too depressed to do anything at first. one day he comes back from a party looking happy and tells me all about how great it was, introducing me to the story of someone new who was there. i felt bad telling him that i hadn't been invited cuz honestly i don't remember if they were supposed to include me or not anymore. instead i made up this lie that yes i had been invited but decided to stay home because i wasn't feeling well. i knew it was a small lie, maybe even a petty one, but at the time it felt like a shield against having to explain my sadness and lack of social motivation. now weeks later, as things start to feel better and more normal, this tiny little fib keeps gnawing at me. why did i lie when in the end it was just another way to push us further apart? it's so small but somehow feels like a defining moment in my decision to let go of something that clearly wasn't right.