Caught Between Desire and Responsibility

I've been with my partner, Alex, for over three years now. We're deeply in love and committed to each other. I'm a personal trainer, so we lead pretty active lifestyles, lots of working out, healthy eating, and exploring our sexuality together. Our sex life is incredibly intimate and adventurous. But lately, things have been slipping into darker territory for me. A few months back, we started experimenting with roleplay scenarios that are on the edge but always consensual. We both enjoy the thrill of it, and I've never felt more connected to Alex than when these games push our limits. However, there's one particular fantasy that's been haunting me: the idea of my boss, who also happens to be a client and a close friend named Jamie. Jamie is in her mid-thirties, athletic like me but with a confidence I'm always trying to match. She's always pushed me to grow as both an athlete and a person. We've never crossed professional boundaries before, until we did, in a way that feels so wrong now. A few weeks ago, Alex and Jamie were on the same trip for a fitness conference. They knew each other from mutual connections but had only ever met briefly. When they ran into each other there, it felt like an opportunity too good to pass up. We made it clear beforehand, this was purely roleplay, just exploring boundaries together. It's still eating away at me how easily I allowed that line to blur in the heat of passion and playfulness. With Alex watching from a corner of the room, Jamie pretending she was my boss demanding something unethical and inappropriate. There were moments when I questioned whether I really wanted this or if it was too close to real-life situations. But both Alex and Jamie made sure it was clear we all consented, that they're adults making choices. The guilt is gnawing at me because there's a part of me that fantasized about crossing professional lines long before the trip happened, I know this isn't just roleplay anymore for me. What if one day these fantasies become more than just fun scenarios? How do I maintain my professional integrity and keep playing with fire without getting burned? I need to find a way to reconcile this newfound desire within the confines of my relationship, but right now, it feels like an impossible balance. Am I being a hypocrite by enjoying these games, or am I merely exploring my sexuality in a safe space? Writing this out doesn't solve anything, but at least I'm getting it off my chest.