My Secret Nighttime Activities Post-Divorce

I recently went through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. It was an amicable split, but it's left me feeling lost and lonely. I've always been the traditional type, worked hard, raised kids, kept my home in order. But now that everything is different, so am I. The last few months have brought unexpected changes to my life. At night, after the kids are asleep, I've started exploring things that were never part of my marriage. It's mostly internet research and watching videos online, but occasionally it goes beyond that. One night a few weeks ago, feeling incredibly alone, I reached out to someone on an adult dating site and ended up having phone sex with her. The thing is, talking dirty isn't something I'm used to. My wife never had any interest in those kinds of conversations. But this stranger was so confident and understanding that it made me feel safe enough to explore my fantasies. We talked for hours about things neither of us would have admitted to our partners before, and the intimacy we built over the phone felt like a lifeline. Since then, I've started journaling my thoughts and desires as well, something I never did with my wife. It's been an incredibly liberating experience but also terrifying because I feel like there's no going back to who I was before the divorce. Every night, when everything is quiet, I find myself reaching for my phone or opening a book that might give me another glimpse of this newfound sense of self. Am I the asshole here? Am I cheating on my marriage even though it ended months ago? It feels wrong but also necessary to understand who I am now. What should I do moving forward?