My Secret Experiment Failed Me

I thought I was prepared, but the truth is that being in an open relationship hasn't made it any easier to navigate my feelings of jealousy and possessiveness. Last night, after a date with another person we both agreed on, I found myself at home, feeling strangely empty. It wasn't about physical satisfaction, it's more like there's this nagging void inside me whenever I'm not directly connected to my partner in ways that are exclusive. It's shameful how much I long for the simplicity of monogamy sometimes, even though logically, I know it wouldn’t solve everything.