Worst Thing I've Done to My Partner

I met my partner when we were both freelancers and worked from home. We had a comfortable routine for two years, talking late into the night after work. It was just me in one room with my computer, her in another, sometimes with the door open if it wasn't too noisy outside. We'd chat about our days, share stories, make jokes. Things were good until I started feeling this weird pull towards doing something that's not quite right, but still consensual and a bit taboo. It was this kink I had where I wanted to... humiliate her in front of me. It made me feel powerful somehow, seeing her struggle with the idea of it but wanting to please me at the same time. We talked about our limits and decided to try something once that she wasn't fully into but agreed out of love and trust. One night, after we'd been talking for hours, I asked her if she wanted to continue in front of me while I watched on my computer. She said yes, hesitated a bit, then agreed again. We set up our webcams and I got ready as she started touching herself slowly. It was hot, seeing the look on her face. I leaned back in my chair, enjoying the sight of her body moving, fingers slipping into places only I'd seen before. Her breath quickened, chest heaving. The more she went on, the harder it became for me to stay still, but I held off, wanted to savor this moment. As she approached climax, her eyes met mine through the screen and something shifted in them. She was struggling with what we were doing, maybe wondering if this was too much or if she truly enjoyed it. That uncertainty made my own arousal spike further. I knew she was close but decided to hold back for a moment longer. When I finally joined her on camera, the intimacy and raw honesty of seeing her climax in front of me brought an intense rush that left me breathless. The experience itself, watching and then participating directly, filled me with a mix of shame and arousal. It was incredibly explicit - skin against skin, every sound she made resonating through my speakers. After it ended, we talked about how it felt for both of us, making sure everything was okay. I feel like an asshole for pushing her into something that didn't entirely make sense but at the same time, we're committed to exploring and understanding each other's desires.