Caught in the Moment - My Partner's Reaction

I've been with Sarah for over two years now. We have a great relationship and everything is pretty much perfect except one thing, I’ve always had this kink that I never told her about, but it’s been growing inside of me ever since we met. You see, I love the idea of being tied up or restrained during sex. It’s something that turns me on more than anything else, but every time I try to bring it up, Sarah gets uncomfortable and changes the subject. Lately, I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to know if she would ever be willing to give it a shot with me. So one night after closing at the bar, I had just one beer too many thinking about all this stuff swirling around in my head. It was late, and we were both home alone. I tried to keep calm as I walked into our bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, my mind racing with how I should approach the conversation. But before I could get anything out of my mouth, I impulsively grabbed her wrists and held them above her head in one hand while pushing her back onto the bed with my other. "I want to show you something," was all I managed as she stared at me wide-eyed. It felt like an eternity had passed before she spoke up. "What’s happening? Let go of me, Alex," she said slowly, trying not to panic but clearly alarmed by the sudden shift in our dynamic. I did let her hands down and stepped back from the bed. The look on her face was one of confusion mixed with fear. I could see that this wasn’t what either of us expected tonight. Her eyes darted around the room as if looking for an escape route. "Oh god, Alex... I need to think about this," she whispered, pulling the sheets up to her neck and curling into a ball. I left her alone after that, too ashamed to try and explain my sudden actions or feelings. Now it’s been days since then. Every time we’re together now, there's an undercurrent of tension between us, I can feel how guarded she is around me even though I haven’t pushed the subject again. It doesn’t help knowing how badly I want to push her boundaries just a little further. I’m so conflicted right now because part of me feels like what I did was disrespectful and hurtful, but another part thinks that it’s okay since it's about something that turns me on deeply. How do you tell someone they mean the world to you, yet this side of you has always wanted more? I’m torn between wanting her to understand why I did what I did and respecting her feelings enough to never bring up restraints again.