My Engagement and My Secret

I'm engaged to Sarah, but there's this one thing I haven't told her yet. It feels like a weight on my chest that's suffocating me. The night before we got engaged, I had an intense sexual encounter with another woman, Emma, who helped me realize aspects of myself I was too scared to admit to myself or Sarah. We've been friends for years, but there's something between us that goes beyond friendship. Every time I'm close to her, I feel this pull and a need to be honest about my desires and uncertainties. It's killing me inside, knowing how much she means to both our lives in different ways.