Felt Like I Broke Free

Went out to the studio last night after work. Hadn't painted in weeks. But as soon as I got there, my mind wandered back to him, to how much he loved these things that drove me crazy. His hands, his mouth, everywhere... Made me think about what we did two nights ago. It was wild. We were supposed to be experimenting with a new level of trust. He started it. Said I could do anything without asking. The room was dark except for the light streaming in from the street. Could barely see him but felt every inch of his skin against mine. We moved together like dancers, bodies following instincts. Then he stopped. Turned to face me. Asked if I wanted something more explicit. Told him yes and we didn't stop after that. He was rougher than ever before. Made me lose it completely, felt like the walls were shaking with our noises. Couldn't hold back anymore, let go so hard it left bruises. Woke up today with marks on my neck, and arms. Felt powerful but also a bit scared. Am I just doing this to push boundaries or am I ready for more? Should I ask him to try something softer next time instead? Don't want to break the vibe but need some advice.