Caught In A Moment Of Weakness

I never thought I would end up here, confessing something that feels like it should stay buried forever. It all started when my long-term relationship ended a few months ago. We had been together for seven years and when she finally left me, I felt utterly lost. She took everything with her, my sense of self included. Those first weeks were hard; every corner reminded me of us. But eventually, the pain turned into an empty void. It was then that I started staying late at work more often than not. The hospital became my sanctuary. In there, surrounded by patients and their needs, I could almost pretend everything was normal. One evening, after a particularly tough shift, I found myself walking down one of the quieter hall rooms. There was no one else around when I spotted her: Sarah, the new night nurse, someone I had never spoken to before but admired from afar for her calm demeanor and professional skill. We locked eyes briefly in the hallway. Something about those few seconds felt different. Intense, even though neither of us moved a muscle or said anything more than what was necessary at work. The moment lingered as we resumed our separate duties. That night, it all came crashing down on me. I couldn't get her out of my head and before long, the boundary between personal feelings and professional conduct blurred completely. One thing led to another in the break room after a late shift; one drink turned into two, conversations grew more intimate until eventually, we shared something far deeper than either of us had planned. It felt wrong from the start yet impossible to stop. I didn't want it to happen, but it did and now there's no going back. Part of me wonders if she regrets what happened as much as I do. There’s this gnawing guilt that eats at me every time I see her walking down those familiar halls. I know I’m the asshole here; crossing professional lines like this is never okay, especially when you’re still healing from past pain. And yet, despite knowing better, it happened. Now all I can do is hope she’ll forgive me for losing control that night.