A Secret Tangle of Desire

I'm a professor in my late fifties and have been casually dating for the past year. Nothing serious yet. One night, I met an intriguing woman at a university event. We clicked instantly over shared interests in literature and philosophy. Before long, we agreed to experiment with swinging. That night changed me deeply; experiencing intimacy beyond just two felt freeing but also profoundly complex. It's been weeks now, and I still grapple with the emotions it stirred up.