Wandering into Wickedness...

Well, I guess it all started when my divorce finalized last month. My life kinda turned upside down but in a strangely exciting way. ...I mean, after years of marriage and being tied down to the same routine... suddenly I had no rules anymore. The first thing that changed was how I saw myself, alone for the first time in ages and ready to explore some stuff I’d never really allowed myself before. The second night out post-divorce, I ended up at a bar downtown, chatting with this random guy who seemed to be as interested in the weirdness of our situations... We started talking about the things we both thought would’ve been off-limits in a relationship but were open for now. Before I knew it, he invited me back to his place. ...Now, hear me out, nothing too wild or crazy happened that night; no handcuffs or explicit roleplays or anything like that... We just kind of danced around the edge of what would’ve been off-limits before. But there was something about the way we looked at each other and pushed boundaries ever so slightly... I couldn’t help but feel this strange excitement that hadn’t existed since long, long ago. So here’s where it gets a bit tricky: ever since then, whenever I’m alone or with someone new (I haven’t settled into one relationship yet), there’s been this undercurrent of experimentation in the back of my mind. It feels so free and liberating... but also, just a little scary. Like, what if these feelings get out of hand? What if I start wanting things that no one else can give me? And then comes the weird part: even though I know all this stuff is technically “taboo” or frowned upon... it doesn’t feel wrong to me at all right now. It’s like my body and mind are finally catching up after being stifled for so long. So, what do you think? Is it normal to suddenly want to explore the edges of where you’ve never dared before? ...Or am I about to find myself in a situation I won’t know how to handle?