Just One Night of Intensity

I’ve always considered myself relatively grounded and in control of my desires. So when I found myself drawn to a colleague at work who was clearly someone off-limits, I couldn’t quite figure out why. We worked closely on projects but kept our personal interactions professional. Then one night after drinks with some friends, the opportunity presented itself, my friend mentioned their crush on me and I had just enough courage or maybe foolishness, to mention my attraction to them in return. It was a risky move, knowing they were seeing someone else, but there was something about their playful glances during work meetings that made me wonder if they felt it too. That night, after some initial hesitation, we ended up at my place for what started as drinks and small talk but quickly turned into something much more intense. I can’t deny how liberating it felt to let go of my usual restraint and explore a desire that I had kept under wraps until then. The next morning was awkward, given our professional relationship, but nothing ever came of it beyond one intensely passionate night. Reflecting on it now, I still don’t understand the sudden shift in my behavior, or what exactly about that moment made me push past all reason and boundaries. It remains a mystery to me.