My Secret Fantasies After Separation

I had this secret fantasy that only came out after my divorce was final, and it involved letting go completely in a way I never would've considered before. My ex-wife is an amazing woman but not into anything like that at all. In a moment of weakness, or maybe just curiosity, I found myself engaging with someone else through an app for BDSM encounters. It was brief and we both agreed to leave it there, the kind of thing you don't want remembered by anyone involved. Still, thinking about it now makes me feel ashamed but also curious in ways I can't explain.