too much prep for the real thing

so i was like totally planning out this big fantasy weekend with my wife. we both love roleplay and bondage stuff but never really got into heavy whipping or pain play before, you know? thought it would be cool to try something new and exciting. so spent days buying all sorts of whips and blindfolds and chains and stuff... she was into it, seemed excited too. but then friday night when we actually start? i dunno, just kinda awkward, i guess. we weren't sure how to even begin, felt weird getting super worked up over something that didn't turn out as intense as imagined, you know? ended up just kind of cuddling and making out mostly, no whips or chains or anything hardcore at all like planned. so now all this gear sitting in the closet... seems kinda silly and excessive? but i still wanna try it some other time, maybe when we're not feeling self-conscious about expectations and such. feels dumb spending all that money on gear for one weekend then never using half of it again - but also can't just give everything away now after going through the effort to get them. weird where this is at right now.