Secret Late-Night Meetings

I'm a first-year law student married with two kids. I started attending these late-night meetings in secret about six months ago. They're kind of like therapy sessions but more focused on kink and exploring sexuality openly without judgment. It's not illegal, but it feels wrong since my husband wouldn't approve. He has this old-fashioned view that sex is for marriage only, nothing else. I'm so torn because these meetings help me feel more comfortable in my own skin, more confident about who I am sexually, which is important to me as a person, especially now trying to figure out life goals. But every time I go, I feel guilty and sad about hiding it from him, wondering how this secret will change things between us eventually.