Just Another Thursday Night

So there I was, my husband of twenty years looking on from the sofa like he was watching a football game while I tried to navigate yet another 'encounter'. He's had his flings and so have I, but tonight felt different. It wasn't just about satisfying needs; it was about proving something, god knows what. The way she laughed at me afterward, almost mocking my age... did it make me feel old? Maybe a little, though mostly just annoyed. I tried to stay calm, act nonchalant like any other open relationship fling, but the look on her face when we ended for the night spoke volumes. There's something about those moments where everything feels too real and you start questioning your own motivations. I suppose that’s why I’m here, to admit it all wasn't as simple or carefree as everyone thinks an open marriage should be.