Caught in My Own Confession

So yeah, I’m this grad student with a solid relationship going. We’re both 27, been together for two years now and we’re happy. But lately, there’s been something gnawing at me that I feel like no one else knows about. It started out small, little fantasies popping into my head whenever she talks to me or sends a text. I know it sounds weird but sometimes when she texts, her words make these images pop in my mind, like this really vivid scene of us doing something... risky. I’ve never acted on any of them, but lately they’re getting harder to ignore. And the kicker is, one night after we were done having our usual kind of sex, I blurted out a fantasy I had about her from earlier that week. It wasn’t even super explicit, just something that got my mind working overtime and it came right out. She froze for a moment and then laughed it off as if she thought it was funny. Now here’s the thing: I’m not sure what to do with this feeling of being caught, even though technically nothing happened. Maybe because we both have busy lives or maybe I’m just more imaginative than most people, but there’s this gap between what I want and what we actually do that feels like it’s growing wider. I’ve never been ashamed of these thoughts before, hell, I’m proud to be honest with myself, but now? It’s different. What if she thinks I’m not ready for her or our relationship isn’t fulfilling enough? Or maybe worse, what if she doesn’t want me anymore because she sees this side of me? So here I am, typing all this out, feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me just because my mind wandered a little bit. But honestly, deep down inside, I don’t think that at all, I think it’s totally normal and okay to have these thoughts, even if they feel taboo or scary sometimes. Anyway, hope someone finds this relatable. Maybe I’m the asshole for overthinking everything, but also maybe not. Who knows?