...Sometimes I Struggle...

I'm married to Sarah now, been together for five years. We love each other so much, but lately...lately I've found myself drawn to this weird place inside my head where I imagine what it would be like if she wasn't a woman...if she was a man instead. It's not about her body or changing who we are, more like imagining being with someone who understands me on another level because they're the same as me...the same sex. It's confusing, this idea of wanting to be with a man sometimes, even though I love my wife so much and everything she is. When we have sex now, it feels perfect...her hands sliding over my chest, her fingers inside me, us exploring each other without any reservations. But afterwards, when I'm alone, these thoughts creep in like a shadow. What's wrong with me? Am I broken or just...curious about something that can never be real? Do others feel this way too and not talk about it because they think there's something fundamentally wrong with them? Any advice out there for someone who feels like their desires are at war within themselves?