Engagement Night Gone Wrong

I was engaged to John last month and we were celebrating our engagement at a fancy restaurant. Everything seemed perfect until the wine started flowing and old memories surfaced for me. I couldn't help but think of my ex, Sarah, who had left me years ago but still held a place in my heart. As the night went on, I found myself sneaking glances at other couples and wondering if John would ever be enough. When we got back to his apartment, I was struggling with these thoughts and emotions. We kissed softly, as we usually do before bed, but something felt different tonight. My mind wandered to Sarah's lips, the way she used to touch me, her scent in our old bedroom. I pulled away from John, feeling guilty for even entertaining those thoughts. I explained that maybe this wasn't right and suggested we take a break to figure things out. He looked hurt but agreed, asking if I was having doubts about us. The truth is, I do have lingering feelings for Sarah, and it's making everything complicated. I feel terrible for leading John on, knowing he deserves better than my fractured mind.