My First Time Since The Breakup Wasn't What I Expected

I recently ended a long-term relationship and had been avoiding sex for months. I decided to give myself permission to explore my desires again. Tonight was the first time since then, and it didn't go as planned. My date is in her twenties, with a petite body that contrasts sharply against mine. We met up at an adult boutique earlier, gathering supplies like lube and condoms before heading back to their place. I felt exposed, vulnerable, every touch from them was electric against my skin. When we got into the bedroom, they took control right away, guiding me onto a velvet cushioned chair and straddling me. They positioned themselves, then slowly lowered down on top of me as our bodies met for the first time in weeks. I had expected to feel disconnected or indifferent, but instead, it was intense, my dick hardened almost instantly against their warm core, pulsing with need. The friction from the lube made everything slick and easy; every stroke of them on top left me breathless, gasping for air as pleasure rushed through my system. I wanted to take charge, but felt oddly at ease letting them lead, it was exhilarating watching their face contort in ecstasy with each thrust. We went on like this, our skin damp from sweat and the sounds echoing off the walls until we both climaxed hard, me spilling cum deep inside them as they shuddered uncontrollably around my shaft. It was raw, messy, more emotionally intense than I could have imagined. It took some time to process what happened, but in the end, it felt incredibly freeing and healing.