i have this weird thing

so me and my partner we've been together for like 2 years now. she's super chill, laid back, doesn't judge at all, which is great cus i feel like i can be myself with her. but there’s this one thing that has always bothered me a little bit, it's kind of embarrassing to say out loud even here. you know when you're working the barista shift and someone comes in late after closing time, looking all flustered, maybe sweaty or just frazzled? i mean sure, i don't ask but sometimes there’s something about them that makes me wonder if they had a rough night out or whatever. it's silly, i know. but like...the thing is? when my partner and i are getting close to the point where one of us has just finished up with someone else and then we meet, or when she tells me she’s feeling needy but hasn't acted on it yet and now we're together...i get this weird tingle inside. it's not about her cheating or anything, more like wanting to know what kind of state she was in before coming to see me. it sounds messed up, i get that. and honestly, most times i can push past it and just enjoy us being together no matter the context. but there are moments when i want to ask so bad, even though i know it's not really my business. it's like a little kink in my head or something. i hope she never finds this out. don't get me wrong, we have great sex and everything, just wish i could figure out if there’s a way to be honest about this without freaking her out.