...It's Not A Good Day...

So yeah, this week has been pretty awful at work. But to be honest, the worst part of it all is coming home and realizing that sex with my partner just isn't cutting it anymore... I mean, we've been together for five years now, and everything was great in the beginning, but lately? She's always so tired or busy, and when she finally gets around to it, it’s like a chore. Like last night... she came into the bedroom with this look that said 'let’s get through this quickly,' and I just couldn't do anything about it. So we start... me trying to feel something, but there's nothing there... just going through the motions... She tries to be gentle at first, knowing how much I hate rough stuff when we're both not in the mood... But I can’t help but think if she’s just waiting for me to pass out so she can go back to sleep... and then her hand slides down between my legs, fingers slipping inside without really any lubrication or care. And there's this moment where I wonder, is it even real? Am I supposed to pretend that the dull ache of arousal actually turns into something more? But there’s no magic happening... just a cold mechanical movement, back and forth... She’s breathing heavy now but not because she wants me, she's trying not to fall asleep. And then it ends, her body collapsing next to mine without a word or touch afterwards... Like we've agreed on some unspoken arrangement where the act itself is all that matters anymore. It makes me wonder if there’s more out there for both of us... but right now, I’m just stuck in this rut and feeling pretty damn lonely.