My Secret Kink

So, I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. It’s really hard to write about this stuff even though it feels like everyone else has their own weird fetish that they’re not talking about but are totally living out. But here goes... I’m a first-year law student and there’s just something about being in control, you know? Like dominating someone or being dominated... When my partner and I talk about sex, we always hit the same notes, love, affection, maybe some playful roughness. But this other thing, it’s not playful at all. It’s dark and serious and completely out of bounds for us. I can’t really explain where it came from or why. Sometimes I imagine being handcuffed to a bed frame while someone else stands over me... And then there are these moments when I catch myself daydreaming in class about tying up a woman and doing things that would scare even the most open-minded person... It’s not like I’m going out looking for it, but sometimes when we’re having sex or talking about kinks with friends, this one thing just comes to mind. And then I feel so ashamed because what if she ever found out? What if someone else figured it out and spread the word around law school? I know I’m supposed to be this perfect, smart student who’s going places... but that doesn’t mean anything when you’re alone at night thinking about something completely taboo. I don’t even know how to bring it up with my partner, what would she say? And yet, part of me can’t shake these thoughts off... Tonight was bad too. We were in bed and got close, but as usual, I kept things tame. Afterward, though, all I could think about was that moment when everything got too intense for her taste. That’s when it hit me, I wanted to push the limits so badly...